It Was Snowing Outside
by SelenaMDV
Summary: Sam can't live without Dean and makes it pretty clear. When push comes to shove Dean has to face facts. Love/Drama story. Slash. Please Read and Review!
1. Chapter 1

It was snowing outside, it was December the 19th. Sam thought the snow was romantic, Dean did to, or at least Sam thought he did, he couldn't really know when Dean never answered him, because he was too busy reading Michigan's local paper_._

"Why do you read that stuff? Can't you see its snowing outside? Its romantic" Sam said and smiled.

Dean looked up from the paper for two seconds before he started reading again. That stupid paper, God, why couldn't he just sit next to Sam and watch Christmas movies like they used to do in December?

This wasn't his first newspaper. He started reading them when something went really wrong on a hunt not too long ago. He always told Sam that if he from there on out would read the papers, he would have a bigger chance at not missing leads and other stupid things like that.. Sam had tuned out on hunting a long time ago. He was done. He only went a long with it to be close to Dean.. He felt like a soccer mom sometimes..

"This crappy motel has no Christmas spirit what so ever" Sam said. Dean didn't move an inch, not to agree, not to disagree.

Sam went over to the bed where were he was reading. He sat down next to Dean, just stared at him with an empty expression in his eyes, thinking '_Where are you, what did you do to my Dean?'_

Dean caught him staring. Sam didn't look away, he stared into his Hazel-Green eyes. They were empty, like someone stole his soul. One month ago they were full of life, love, lust and happiness. Something were missing and Sam couldn't do anything about it. He wanted to help him get the life and love back. All Sam needed was Dean's love again. They hadn't made love for a whole month, 34 days to be exact.

"Why are you staring at me, Sam? Don't you have anything better to do? Like decorating for Christmas or something?"

"Why bother decorating for Christmas when we are leaving the 26th? Plus, this is a motel, it's not like I brought mom's decorations with me.." Sam snarled.

"I don't know" Dean said with his nose buried in the paper.

"Don't you love me anymore, Dean?" Sam pleaded.

"Of course I do" Dean said, still reading the paper.

"Good to know" Sam said sarcastically.

The next morning, Sam woke up early, because he was going to toss away the nasty paper, he was sick of it, it build up a wall between him and Dean's relationship, and he had just about had enough of it. He knew Dean was going to be mad about it, but he care one bit.

When Dean woke up, he went in to the bathroom to take a shower. Sam wanted so badly to just go in there and join him, but he was scared he was going to get mad and kick him out.

Later that day, they got a visit from Bobby, bringing good news, well for Dean anyway.

A new hunt, Sam was not in the mood for a fucking hunt. But when he saw Dean's eyes light up, he knew it was good news for him too, maybe that was the reason for being so pissed and snarky all the time, he just missed a hunt. God, he hoped this hunt would do them good.

"Are you exited Sam? I'm looking forward to this, we never do anything anymore, we just sit in this crappy motel room feeling sorry for ourselves" Dean said.

"Can't wait" Sam said and slammed the car door shut.

**A** week had past since the hunt, the hunt that made their lives good and exiting again, believe it or not, it took two Poltergeists and one Demon to bring them back together! _Dean was still babbling about that demon who was trying to kill them, so proud of himself and Sam for taking it down. Sam could feel the love again. _

Sam went over to the couch sat down next to Dean, took his beer and put it on the table in front of them, and started kissing him, they hadn't done that in a long time, Sam had missed it, _Dean had missed it too, cause he kissed back. Sam made a little moaning kissing sound._ Dean broke the kiss and stared into Sam's eyes.

"I love you Sam"

"I love you too, I really do"

He kissed Sam again, Sam kissed back and put his hand on Dean's chest. He felt Dean's heart beating into his palm, it was beating fast. Sam moved his hand up to his neck and kissed him harder, it was a bruising kiss. Dean put his hand on his little brother's thigh, moving it slowly up towards Sam's crotch. Sam started breathing heavily and with every breath Dean could feel his pants getting tighter and tighter. Sam started kissing Dean's neck. Sam removed his and Dean's shirts and slowly while smiling. "Be gentle, Dean" he said and smiled. "Of course, Sammy, always."

He slowly unbuttoned Dean's jeans. He started kissing his stomach and continued up towards his nipples, licking them tenderly. He felt the taste of Dean, and it was exhilarating. Dean stood up and pulled his pants and his boxers down to his ankles and sat back down.

"Sammy, please..''


	2. Chapter 2

Three months had gone by since their last hunt. Dean had this annoying mood swings from time to time during the day, Sam could just drop a fork on the floor and Dean would get all mad about it, snarling at him.

Sam was sick of it, hunting had become Dean's obsession and addiction, and he just didn't know how annoying that was for Sam, he had to take the blame for everything, he just didn't know what to do anymore.

Sam got an idea. To get Dean's attention, he had to get his own addiction.

"Dean, I am going out for a minute"

"Fine, whatever, just don't be long"

"I won't"

Sam went down to the shop at the corner.

"Smoke, please" Sam said.

"What kind?"

"Whatever, just give me one"

"Marlboro?"

"Thanks"

Sam lighted a smoke, and took a drag. He started coughing, this was clearly not for him, but he didn't care, he was going to show Dean that this bullshit of his was not just ruining them, but Sam as well. He took another drag and threw away the smoke.

Sam came in the motel room to find Dean watching the 9 o'clock news.

Sam lit up a smoke in front of Dean and blew the smoke in Dean's face, Dean coughed and looked over at Sam.

"What the fuck dude?" Dean said.

"What? *cough* "

"And when did you start smoking?"

"What do you care? You don't care about me anymore, at the risk of sounding like a cry-baby"

"God damn it Sam you better stop that nonsense, now"

"It's not that easy you know, I've been smoking for some time now" He lied through his teeth.

"No you haven't you just got out to buy your first pack" Dean yelled.

"How would you know? You don't watch any thing other than the stupid news anyway, I don't feel loved anymore, I don't even feel cared about anymore" Sam pleaded.

"FUCK, of course I care about you, and I do love you, and would you throw that smoke away already?

"You were good at showing it, but something changed" Sam said.

"Like what?"

"I just told you! You didn't even pay attention now when we just talked? God damn it" Sam said and put the smoke out in Dean's beer bottle.

"Fuck you" Dean said.

"No, you don't even do that anymore!" Sam screamed.

"You tick me off sometimes, Sam"

"Right" Sam said.

Sam lit up another one.

He could see how frustrated Dean got when he saw Sam smoked. He kind of enjoyed it, and that worried him.

"Sam, please throw away the smoke, it can kill you."

"No I'm addicted" Sam lied again.

Sam felt like crying from frustration but he couldn't, not in front of Dean. He couldn't show weakness, he couldn't give in.

"See you later, Dean"

"Where are you going?"

"Out"

"Fine"

"Fine" Sam said and slammed the door shut as hard as he could.

Sam needed to find a bar, he wanted to get drunk! Very very drunk!

Sam started crying outside the door. He started to walk down the stairs from the motel. The steps were icy. Sam slipped up and fell down the stairs. He landed in the snow and passed out.

Dean heard something and wondered what the hell it was, but didn't care enough to get up and out to check it, the news weren't finished yet.

An old lady walked by Sam in the snow and screamed when she saw him there all pale and bluish almost buried in the snow, she thought he was dead. She sat down beside him took his ice cold hand and felt his pulse, it was going slow, he was cold as ice. She decided to scream for help, and so she did.

Dean heard a lady's voice call for help and spurted out the door, he saw Sammy buried in snow. He ran down the snowy stairs, almost falling himself. He put his hand on Sam's pulse, he was so cold..

"Why did you go out you idiot? Fuck, don't leave me like this!" Dean yelled at him.

"We got to get him to the hospital, if he lies there any longer now, he'll end up dead" The lady said.

"Call 911" Dean said.

The old lady took up her phone from her purse and dialed 911.

"911, how can I help you?"

"We have a young man lying unconscious in the snow outside Motel 6 - Battle Creek 4725 Beckley Road, Michigan"

Dean tried to wake Sam up with no luck. He tried mouth to mouth but that didn't work either. That was their first kiss in months.. Cold..

"Stay with me Sammy! Don't make me go through life without you"

The old woman stared at Sam and then at Dean. Apparently confused.

"What? He is my baby brother…" Dean said.

"Oh, ok, nothings wrong with that" the lady said.

**D**ean was now waiting at the hospital for news. The old lady, Andrea Watkins went home, Dean had thanked her very much for her assistance and help, and promised her that he would let her know how Sam was doing. She wanted to meet the man she saved, when he came back to life….. If he ever came back to life…


	3. Chapter 3

Dean started crying in frustration, why couldn't any of the freaking doctors give him some news? Any news..

A doctor came over to Dean, with an empty expression in her eyes.

"You can now go see your brother"

"Thank god, is he okay?"

"He is stable, but still unconscious, sorry"

Dean walked over to Sam's bed, sobbing.

"I'm so sorry, Sam, I didn't mean to be like that, I'm not like this! I feel so guilty.. If it weren't for me, you would've never gone out in the snow, falling and getting hurt! I didn't watch over you like I am supposed to.. You were right and I feel awful for not being there for you! I'm so sorry for not following you and stopping you when you went out to buy your freaking smokes! I'm sorry for everything…"

**F**ive hours had past when a nurse came over to Dean.

"Go home, get some rest, you look pretty tired"

"No, I will wait for my brother to wake up"

"Its really late and…"

Was all she got to say before Dean yelled at her to stop bothering him and just go away!

"Sorry" the nurse said and walked away.

8 AM, the same nurse ran down to the waiting room, waking Dean up.

"I have some good news for you, you're brother is awake, and asking for you"

"Really?" Dean asked before he ran in to Sam's room.

"Sammy!"

"Humf" was all Sam said before he looked away.

"Sammy, please talk to me! Please, I know what I did was wrong, ignoring you like that." Dean pleaded.

"You're damn right" Sam said.

"Can't you please forgive me? Can't we start over? Please?

"I need a cigarette" Sam said.

"No you don't, you have me again, from now on I will always be there for you, I'll give you love and warmth, because.. I love you, Sam" Dean said.

"I still need that cigarette" Sam said.

Dean looked down on the floor, he felt lost. Sam suddenly got out of the bed.

"Where do you think you're going, Sam?"

"Don't nag at me" "going for a cigg, what did you think.."

Dean looked at him and sighed.

"Now I don't feel very loved, what is this some kind of payback?" Dean said.

"No, well yes… A little. You hurt me you know" Sam said.

"I know, I wanna make it good again, please let me"

"Okay" Sam said and smiled.

"Thank you, Sammy, I'll be good"

"Hope so" Sam smiled.

"But, that smoke I want"Sam said.

"You need to quit smoking"

"I know"

"You're not really addicted, you know" Dean said.

"How would you know?"

"You just think you are"

"You think?"

"Yes"

"Ok, I will try"

"Good enough for me" Dean said and smiled.

**T**wo weeks later, they had decided to not give up hunting, but to hunt less.

They got a flat in Manhattan, New York. It was a cheap one, but it was nice. Dean felt that Sam needed a place he could call his own, not just some crappy motel room in a random state.

Dean trusted Sam when it came down to the smoking, Dean knew Sam hadn't quit completely and it annoyed him. Dean knew how dangerous smoking was, and he were going to confront him about it.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"You promised to stop smoking, or try at least" Dean said and went over to the couch were Sam was sitting.

"I have tried, it didn't work"

"I can help you, I will"

"I don't need any help"

"You clearly do, I will hold your hand through the hard process"

Sam kissed his hand.

"Thank you. Now you see how hard an addiction can be on the other person in your life!"

"Yes, and I'm sorry" Dean said and looked down on his hands.

"It's okay, everything is okay now" Sam whispered in Deans ear.

Dean kissed Sam on his forehead and told him that he loved him..


	4. Chapter 4

As the weeks went by, Sam got more and more irritated from an abstinence craze. It was crazy, he thought! He had had two or three cigarettes that one night! What was going on? This was just crazy and unrealistic!

One day Sam had gotten so mad that he actually tore down the curtains, while Dean was screaming at him to stop, Sam had such a strong abstinence feeling, he couldn't really control himself, Dean grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him down from the curtains, dragging his little brother in to the bedroom, throwing him down on the bed, Sam was all crazy, screaming at Dean. It was like he was possessed!

"I need a fucking smoke, now" Sam yelled.

Dean could see tears in his eyes, understood it was serious, Sam needed help.

"You cant, I won't let you ruin your body with that unnecessary bullshit, you don't need it, it's just something you have managed to make up in your crazy head" Dean said.

"Why do you lock me in here? What does it help?" Sam demanded.

"If I don't keep you here for some more weeks, you're going to crack"

Sam turned around on the bed and stared out the window. _I need to get a smoke, in some way._

"What if I want to crack, maybe I should take some freaking crack while I'm at it"

Dean hit Sam in his face.

"That is the most idiotic thing you've ever said, when is all this bullcrap going to end?" Dean screamed.

"I don't fucking know, don't fucking care, I don't care about anything anymore, don't care about you, or you're stupid thoughts anymore either"

"That's a lie, and you know it, quit this fucking bullshit!"

"I'm sick of it to Dean, I don't want this to ruin our relationship"

"I think that's a little too late" Dean said and spurted out of the apartment.

Dean went downtown looking for a pub. He found one where the beer was good..

Four hours went by, he was official the most drunken person in the pub.

"One… more…"

"What?" the bartender said.

"Another beer"

"No, sorry you're too drunk; I think you should go home and take good long nap"

Dean got up from the barstool and fell full frontal down on the floor. The other guests looked down on him for a second or two before continuing their own business. The bartender went over to the other side and got Dean on his feet before taking him right outside.

"Do you have a cell phone?" The bartender asked.

Dean fumbled in his jacket for a minute before giving the bartender his brand new phone. The bartender searched through his contact list, it only had two numbers saved.

"Bobby or Sam?" the bartender asked.

"Saaaam" Dean said in a loud obnoxious voice.

The bartender pushed call button.

"Dean? Where the fuck are you?" Sam demanded.

"Hi this is Peter Johnson, I am standing with a very drunk man downtown at a pub called Scandi"

"Shocker… I will come get him" Sam said.

"Thanks" the bartender said and hung up.

Sam arrived in a cab. He got out and thanked the bartender for his assistance and dragged Dean into the waiting cab. When they got home, Dean went to bed, mumbling something. Sam wasn't really mad at his big brother, just a bit worried that this might happen again if he didn't stop acting like a fool about the whole smoke thing.

Sam went out to get nicotine patches. _Why didn't I think of that before?_

Dean woke up with a horrible headache and for a second he had no idea where he was. He remembered the fight and his headache got two times worse. He threw his head down in to the pillows again. _Sam_! Fuck! He had to apologize to his little brother. So in his own little mission to find Sam he got up of the bed and stumbled his way to the kitchen. Halfway there he had to run back through the bedroom and in to the bathroom to puke. After he threw up he felt hell of a lot better and was now for real on his way to the kitchen. Once he got there he took a glass of water to rinse the taste of the vomit from his mouth, but the thing that was weird was that Sam wasn't there. He went through their little apartment but no luck, Sam was nowhere to be seen. _Did he leave me?_

Dean started to panic_. He couldn't have left me not for real?_ He was unable to move. He felt the tears come to his eyes and his legs give out under him. He knew he had been a crappy brother. He knew that he hadn't given Sam the attention he deserved and, now, because he was a dick, his brother had left him. The worst part was that he wasn't mad at Sam, because he had every right not to want to stay with him. Nobody ever stayed with Dean. His body shook with the sobs that were wreaking his body.

Dean was so caught up in his own pain that he didn't notice the sound of a key turning in the lock and the door opening. He didn't notice the footsteps in the hall and that meant he didn't see Sam until he was so close that Dean could see Sam's feet through his tear blurred eyes. "Dean!" Sam crouched next to him. He then took his older brothers face in his hands and made him look up at his face. When their eyes met Sam said quietly "Are you okay? What happened?" Dean threw himself in to Sam arms and just cried. _He didn't leave me!_

"Y..youuhhmf diddn't leeeeahhmmfffve me…" Sam looked down at his chest where Dean's head was hiding at the moment and the weird sounds had come from. "Dean, why would I leave you?" Dean looked at Sam with heartbroken eyes, not understanding why Sam would stay, just as much as Sam didn't understand why Dean thinks he'd leave. "Because I was being a crappy brother…and nobody stays… ever… You'd just leave…or throw me out…like dad….or Cassie..." He hid his head back in Sam's chest, where it was safe.

"Dean you shouldn't think like that, I would NEVER leave you..." Sam sighed, his brother had deep issues, which he never talked about. He just bottled it all up and didn't let them out until they dug their way out. Sam tightened his arms around his brother and just held him. Soon Sam could feel Dean's hands start to stroke his sides and a mouth on his neck. "Dean?" He said as his breath hitched when that mouth hit a special spot. "Mmhhm.." Dean didn't stop what he was doing, he just wanted proof that Sam was really back with him and this was his way of doing that. Sam was a little miffed because they were having such a nice moment just cuddling and now Dean wanted sex. "Do we have to do this now?"

Dean looked up at Sam with a pair of kicked puppy eyes and when his mouth went back to his neck and hit THAT spot, Sam just gave up. It had been so long and he could never turn down Dean. Still it would be nice to do it in a bed and not the floor of their living room. "Dean can't we move to the bed?" Dean didn't answer he just continued doing what he was doing; now he started pulling down the zipper on Sam's black leather jacket. As soon as the jacket was off he started at the t-shirt, Sam raised his arms and it was gone from his body in a second.

Then without any kind of warning Sam was lifted up in strong arms as Dean got up off the floor with Sam. He didn't mind it when Dean did that. In fact he kind of liked it. He was always so strongly reminded that Dean was the older, stronger brother and would always take care of him.

Dean made his way into the bedroom, Sam just clinging to him. When they got in to the room it was dark and kinda cold. They didn't care. Dean put his little brother carefully on the bed. "What Sam wants, Sam gets." He said with a smirk that Sam could see the contours of in the light making its way in through the not completely closed door.

Dean took of the boxers and the t-shirt that Sam had left him in that morning. Sam just looked at him, what he couldn't see of Dean's body he already knew by heart. He could feel himself grow hard. Dean gently laid himself over Sam on the bed. "Dean, get the pants off me, I want to feel you!" Sam said as he rutted against Dean. "Sure Sammy" Dean kissed him and then sat on his knees in front of Sam; he started to work on his little brothers jeans. Two seconds later the offending jeans were off together with Sam's underwear.

He threw the pants down on the floor and laid his naked body down on Sam's. "Mmhmm" Sam breathed when he felt Dean's body touch his. They rutted against each other while kissing passionately. Sam felt his brother's hands all over his body. It was a long time since he had been this happy. Deans hands worked their way down to Sam's manhood and stroked it a few times and then moved on to his brothers behind. "Do we have lube here Sammy?" Sam was lost to the world of pleasure "aaaaaahhhh". Dean checked the night side table, and sure, there was lube. He took it in to his hands and squirted some on his hand and started stroking his kid brothers throbbing penis. "ooooohhhgodDeandon'tstop!"

Dean lined his rock hard rod up with Sam's hole. "Come on Dean!" Sam could feel Dean's shaft enter him slowly. "MmmmmDean, faster please, I won't break…" Sam said as Dean stopped to let him get used to the burn. "I know you won't Sammy, but I don't want to hurt you…" Dean pushed in more of his thick shaft in to Sam. As his little brother screamed "COME FUCKING ON, MOVE!" Dean finally did as Sam wanted and pushed in all the way. "Oooooo be still for a moment…" Sam said and a tear fell down his closed eyes. "Sammy," Dean whispered as he dried away the tear from Sam's cheek "I'm so sorry. Did i hurt you?" When Sam opened his eyes he could see the worry in his brothers' eyes.

"It's okay…Continue, Dean" Dean wasn't sure where that came from but answered and meant every word so much that he could feel them burn all the way into his soul "Ohh, I love you, Sammy!" He then moved out slowly, letting Sammy get accustomed to the feel of Dean moving within him. He picked up the pace a little when shoving his penis in again. When Sam moaned he grabbed a hold of his little brothers hips and moved in and out harder.

"Goooood!" Sam moaned. He felt Dean move in and out and in again. Over and over until he thought he might explode. It had been so long and with a shout of Dean's name he came all over their stomachs. Dean felt Sam clamp down around him and so he moved in and out two more times and came inside his little brothers ass.

They just laid there, catching their breath. Dean raised himself from Sam and laid down next to him. Sam snuggled close to Dean and put his head under his brothers' cheek. Sam sighted in content. Dean put his strong arms around Sam. They fell asleep like that.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean felt like they were back to the start, nothing was wrong between them anymore.

He also felt loved. They had been driving fast forward, they just needed a break from the hysteria, and that's what they got when they moved to Manhattan!

"I'm going out for a while, Dean" Sam said.

"Ok" Dean answered.

Dean heard the door slam in the hallway while he was getting dressed and went out ten minutes after, he was going to buy Sam a present, and he knew exactly what to buy for him.

A week ago they had been strolling down Uptown Manhattan, and they saw this nice little pet shop, and Dean could see his little brothers eyes just glow when he saw a little Labrador puppy in the window. Dean were going to buy it for him.

Dean got in to the shop and found the salesman.

"How much for that little heartbreaker over there?"

"The yellow one? About 70 dollars"

"Damnit, come on, please I only have about 50 dollars"

"Well we have a brown one here, she is only 45 dollars because there is something wrong with her front left paw! She limps a little, poor pup.." The salesman said.

"I don't know... Well we will give her a good home! I'll take it"

When Dean got home, Sam was already there.

"Hey Dean, where have you been?"

"I was out getting you a little gift for being such a great little brother." Dean smirked in a disappointed kind of way.

Sam noticed it in his eyes and walked over to him giving him a hug.

"What`s wrong?

"Well I don't know, it wasn't really the kind.. I don't know how to say it.."

"Can I open my gift maybe? Sam asked while nodding his head 'understanding'.

Dean said yes and got the big box from the stairs outside the door and gave Sammy the big box. When Sam opened the box, his eyes started glowing! Sam understood what he had bought him when he saw the breathing holes on the box. He opened the big box and there it was, a little puppy with a ribbon around her neck. Sam was ecstatic! It looked like he was about to start crying. Dean could see the happiness in little brother's eyes and it did him a world of good!

"Oh my GOD, Dean! You got us a puppy?"

"Well, technically it is yours.. You'll have to walk it and feed it and all that crap! I know you wanted the yellow one, but it was out of my price range.."

"What are you talking about? This is the one I really wanted. Thank you so much, Dean!"

''But weren't you looking at the yellow puppy in the window?"

"No this was the one!"

"YES, luck struck..." Dean smirked.

They took the new family member out to buy her some things, like a bowl and an annoying sound-making toy.

They saw this little pet shop downtown. They went in and saw this cute pink bowl set for dogs and cats, it was really cheap, only 5 dollars so they bought it.

When they got back, Dean put the bowl-set down on the floor, filled it with food and water and went to bed, he was so tired after the long day.

Sam came in about twenty minutes later after walking the dog, for the third time that day.

"Hi Dean, can Ava sleep in bed with us tonight?

"Is that what we're calling her? Ava?"

"Yes, don't you like it?"

"Of course I like it, you picked it" Dean smirked.

"You're lovely, Dean"

"Right back at ya"

That night Ava slept in Dean and Sam`s bed.

The next morning Dean woke up with a tongue licking on his lips, it was Sam, he was horny and had the biggest morning wood ever, Dean could feel it on his thigh, and it turned him on, but...

"Where's the dog?" Dean asked.

"In the kitchen, so we can have a quickie!"

"Ohh, you thought of everything didn't you!"

"Everything for you"

Dean throws Sam down on his side of the bed and climbs on top of him and takes of his t-shirt, throwing it on the floor before ripping his little brothers t-shirt off too. Dean jumps off the bed onto the floor to get off Sam's and his own boxers so he can properly proceed the early bird special love making.

My turn this time. I'll make you feel good! Sam said sensually.

"You sure?" Dean asked.

"Yes, I've only been inside you once before and you enjoyed it so why not?"

"Well, all for love, give it to me big boy" Dean said in a teasing voice.

Sam got on his knees in front of his big brother and took his manhood in his right hand while his left hand were busy on his own.

Sam then proceeded to push Dean on the bed in front of them.

Sam went down on Dean, softly caressing his more sensitive area with his tongue, getting it ready for Sam's throbbing shaft to enter.

"Ohh yeah keep on doing that" Dean moaned. ''Mmhhhmmmhmm''

Sam kept on using his tongue, making Dean feel the ecstasy he had inflicted on his little brother so many times before..

Sam got up and walked over to the stereo on the dresser and turned on some RN'B heavy bass music to deepen the already lust filled moment..

Dean got an _'Damn I love you' _expression on his face before Sam kissed him gently yet roughly on his lips.

"Are you enjoying it?" Sam asked.

"Yeah" Dean managed to muffle out in-between his moans of pleasure..

Sam was ready to board the Dean express, going straight to Pleasureville! ((OMG, I am GAGGING at my writing skills LOL!))

Sam pushed his way in to Dean.

"OH yeah, Sam" Dean moaned.

Sam breathed heavily at every thrust.

After an hour or so of thrusting and moaning, Sam came all over Dean's stomach.

Sam collapsed on Dean. Dean just laid there playing with Sam's hair.

"Thank you" Dean said.

"'For what?" Sam asked.

"For you being you, for you being the only one who loves me"

"That`s not true, I'm not the only one who loves you.."

"Who else?" Dean asked.

"Ava" Sam laughed.

Dean smiled and playfully twisted Sam's nipple.

''Hey!'' Sam said laughing.

One hour later they heard some weird noises from outside the apartment. Dean went out to find a very hot dude, a very drunk hot dude lying on the floor, babbling something incoherent.

"Hey, dude, are you okay?" Dean asked.

"Hey, I am a dude and I`m okay, ok?" the man said.

"Yeah, okay, so who are you?"

"I`m Fine" the man said.

"No, not 'how' are you, 'who' are you?"

"Still Fine, stop bugging me" the man said.

"Yeah, ok, I'm going in" Dean said.

"You don't understand, my name is Fine, Derek Fine" the man managed to say.

"Sorry, but you could have said Derek instead of Fine" Dean said, annoyed.

"Whatever, can I come in? I live on the top floor"

"Hmm, ok, you can sleep it off the on the couch, you're drunk as a sailor" Dean said.

Dean ran in to tell Sam about the hot drunk dude sleeping on their couch. And Sam freaked out.

What if he's a demon or something, Dean! We can't have him here, there's no way! Sam said.

Dean freaked out too. The hot drunk dude heard them all freaking out on each other and walked right in there.

"What, are you to like married or something?" Derek asked.

"No, we are brothers, and who the hell are you?" Sam sneered at him.

"I`m Fine" Derek said.

Dean heard that. "Don`t you say that again!"

"Sorry dude, Derek Fine is my name and I`m not drunk"

"Yeah, sure I see.'' Sam said. ''Why did you bring that drunk thing in here? He is probably dirty!" Sam said.

"I`m clean" Derek said.

"Shut it" Dean said.

"Don`t believe me?" Derek said.

"No apparently he does not, life goes on. Go to sleep!" Sam said.

The hot drunk dude went into the living room and fell asleep on the couch.

The next morning Sam woke up with a stranger in their bed. He freaked out. Again. He screamed, loudly, waking the-not-so-drunk-anymore-dude and Dean up.

"What the fuck dude?" Dean growled.

"Wow, what the fuck, where the hell am I? Did I fuck you guys?" Derek asked, very puzzled.

"NO, please, nooo, did you?" Sam asked, very freaked out.

"No he didn't" Dean said in an almost believable way.

"Well, I sure enough don't remember a damn thing from last night, where am I?" Derek asked.

Dean was now incredibly annoyed with this very annoying hot dude, he wanted to throw his pretty face out the fucking window, down on the sidewalk. Who the fuck did he think he was? Invading someone else's bed? In the middle of the night? He was still sleeping when Sam and Dean went to sleep the night before.

Sam started thinking; '_Oh my GOD, what if he touched me when I slept? Think if he had sex with me or Dean without us knowing it, or maybe Dean knew it but didn't care? Maybe he enjoyed it? What if he encouraged it? Ok stop thinking, he would never do something that stupid! Right?'_

"Soooo...eh not to like ruin the party or anything...but who the hell are you guys?" Derek asked quite loudly from next to him, breaking through Sam's heavy thoughts, knocking him out off it.

Sam cleared his head enough to actually look at this man that Dean had brought in to their apartment the day before. He had a very short blonde mohawk that looked a mess from sleeping. His eyes was intense grey. It looked like he was shorter than Sam, but a little taller than Dean. As Sam's eyes travelled lower down the man who was just staring at him, patiently waiting for his answer, he could see the toned abs and muscled arms. '_Yeah Dean would definitively tap that!' _He thought.

"I'm Sam Winchester, and the dude on the other side of you that apparently have lost the gift off speech, is Dean, my brother. We have been living in this apartment for a couple of weeks now. And you are?"

When Sam opened his mouth Derek didn't feel much relief because the tension was getting to him.

"I'm fine..." Derek said.

One evil look from Dean over Sam's shoulder was enough for him to quit the funny act.

"Derek Fine… I like to have a good time, which is the reason I end up like this a little too often. Based on the fact that your apartment looks surprisingly a lot like mine, I think we may live in the same apartment complex..?" Derek said.

"Yeah, you told me, you live above us, dude." Dean said.

"Oh thank GOD! Once I ended up in a different town, five hours from here, in a bed filled with naked people and I had no idea how I got there!" Derek said.

He looked at both off them begging them to understand and not judge.

"To wake up with what seems to be two normal guys almost home wsn't that bad...actually it was a relief!"

He stopped his monologue with a sudden thought, "Why are you guys...sleeping, like in the same bed? I mean, since your brothers?"

Sam totally panicked and looked fast over to Dean who was hiding his face under the covers. '_No help there, I guess, bastard_...'

Ava who woke up from all the noise, jumped up on the bed and started nudging the covers which Dean was hiding under. Dean took Ava under the covers with him, effectively blocking himself from the horrid conversation, cuddling the puppy, being content in his own little world under the covers.

Sam looked at Derek. Derek looked at Sam. Both of them waiting for any kind of reaction.

"Well the truth is... There's not enough beds.." 'Good save' Sam thought. Sam looked over at the cover where Dean was hiding, hoping he would turn up soon.

Suddenly Derek kissed Sam. Sam was totally shocked and broke the kiss with some moaning sounds. Dean heard the sound, recognized the sound. He loved that sound! it's Sam's kissing sound, but there was something wrong with it this time, they were not kissing..

Dean ripped the covers of his body.

"What the fuck, dude, did you just kiss my brother?" Dean yelled.

Derek just looked at Dean with fear in his eyes.

"Well did you? You fucker!" Dean yelled.

"Dean, take it easy" Sam said.

"Yeah, take it easy dude" Derek said.

Dean went into the kitchen, meanwhile Derek said bye to Sam and got up and walked over to the door ready to leave the bedroom, Dean popped up in the door and smacked Derek over his head with a frying pan, he fell right down on the floor, crying for help. Sam spurted over to stop Dean from smacking him more.

"Leave us the fuck alone, and don't you EVER touch Sam again!" Dean yelled.

Derek ran as fast as he could out of the apartment. Dean threw the frying pan on the bed.

"Fuck...FUCK.. And fuck god damn..." Dean said.

"Are you all right, Dean? Why the fuck did you hit him down on the floor with a frying pan?"

"He fucking kissed you, man!" Dean said.

Sam took Dean's chin and said "You're too possessive" and smiled.

"I am?"

"Seriously? You just smacked our neighbor because he kissed your brother." Sam said.

"I don't want to share you with anybody, especially not some drunk hot dude from the top floor" He said.

"See? So possessive.. I love it though!" Sam smiled.

"Did you enjoy the kiss?" Dean asked.

"No, it tasted like 2000 year old whiskey, I'll manage without" Sam shivered.

Dean smiled and kissed Sammy before he went into the bathroom to freshen up.

"I think we need to apologize to Derek" Dean said.

"Do we have to? He molested me" Sam laughed.

"We have to, he can press charges, we need to sort this crap out. It's not like want to if that's what you're thinking.."

"You didn't kill him, so there's no need" Sam said.

"Don't you understand? I could have killed him" Dean said.

A few hours later Dean managed to talk Sam into go with him up to Derek's apartment.

Dean knocked on the door.

_'What if he has a gun and shoots us? What if he kicks us down the stairs...'_

Derek opened the door with a blank expression on his face.

"What do you guys want? Pay my doctor bill?" Derek asked.

"I am sorry, I just lost it...Can we maybe come in?" Dean said.

"Sure" Derek said.

"Thank you, I just wanted to explain why I got that way, I am a little over protective sometimes. Me and Sam have an incredible bond, I guess my brotherly instincts just kicked in..''

"I understand.. I guess.. I just wanted to kiss you guys to show some appreciation, you know? It's a really weird way to say 'thank you', but it's my way, and before I got over to your side of the bed to give you a little friendly kiss, you had already ran off into the kitchen, but I am really sorry for causing such trouble!" Derek said.

"I see, but you can't just go around kissing people like that, you need to ask people first! I would like to forget the whole thing and get on with our lives...Okay?" Dean said.

"Works for me!" Derek said.

When they got down in their own apartment, they caught Ava biting the remote control to pieces!

They started laughing and Ava ran over to her folks and jumped up and down, she wanted attention. Sam and Dean crouched in front of the furry little puppy.

"Are you a crazy little puppy dog?" Sam laughed.

Ava gave a low-light barking sound, it was so cute. Sam took Ava in his hands, and lifted her up to cuddle.

Sam gave Dean a kiss and went to bed with Ava.

"Taking a nap!"

"Right" Dean answered and sat down in front of the TV.


	6. Chapter 6

**PS: ALL the chapters before this one has been HEAVILY edited! So if you have read this fan fiction before, I strongly suggest that you re read the chapters!**

The next day Dean woke up to Sam laying besides him, staring at him. Dean just looked back, he didn't move his body at all.

Dean's facial expression turned confused. His eyebrows met in the middle and he licked his lips.

''Hi'' Dean said.

''I love you Dean'' Sam said.

''Well hallelujah! I'll call People Magazine!'' Dean said sarcastically while sitting up in bed.

''Don't be silly Dean.. I uhm.. I just wanted to tell you, you know? Before it's too late..'' Sam said.

Dean slowly turned his head towards Sam.

''Too late? What's going on here Sam?'' Dean demanded.

''I had one of my pain-in-the-ass visions. I am going to die. Thursday.'' Sam said.

Dean took a deep breath and buried his face in his hands before he asked. He had to ask.

''Sam.. Is this one of your mind games again? Am I not giving you the attention you need again? Because I think I've been pretty damn good at that since we moved to New York!'' Dean said.

''Dean, please don't throw that in my face, ok? I was in a fragile state of mind, ok? I was, yes, maybe a little nutty to start smoking an shit, but I swear to god, this is no game!'' Sam said.

Dean got up from bed and walked to the bathroom to take a shower. Sam followed and stopped him before he entered the bathroom.

''DEAN, I'm dying and you're going to take a shower? Is you cleanliness more important than my life? Why don't you just punch me in the face.'' Sam said.

Dean raised his hand punched him in the face. He tried to knock some sense in to his head.

Dean saw something in his side vision. He looked over and saw Derek standing in the doorway with a piece of paper in his hand.

''This is not what it looks like, Derek!'' Dean said.

''Abusive!'' Derek said and shook his head. Derek walked over to help Sam up from the floor.

''No really, it's not, I kind of told him to punch me'' Sam said.

''It's true'' Dean shot in. ''Oh whatever.'' He said and walked in to the bathroom and got undressed.

Derek's curiosity got the better of him and he discreetly moved his head so that I would get a glimpse of what was inside the bathroom.

Dean noticed him and flipped him off over the shower curtain rod.

Derek did an 'air flip' and turned around to find Sam giving him a dirty look.

''You're REALLY gay aren't you..'' Sam said.

Derek just looked at him with a 'Oh, just go fuck yourself' look on his face.

''What's that in your hand?'' Sam asked.

''Your mail. It was misplaced or something, anyway, it ended up in my post box. Here you go'' He said and threw it at Sam.

''Thanks..'' Sam said and watched Derek leave.

Sam walked in to the bathroom and joined Dean in the shower.

''What did he want?'' Dean asked.

''Mail call I guess.. Misplaced mail..'' Sam said and shrugged his shoulders.

Derek had forgotten to tell them about the party he was having so he went back in but didn't find them in the bedroom. He went in to the bathroom to see if they were there. And boy, were they ever.

The first thing he saw was Sam with his hands on the wall, being washed on the back by Dean.

''Oh.. My.. God…'' Derek said.

Dean turned his head and saw Derek.

''This is not what it looks like'' Dean said, yet again.

Derek just looked at them.

''Dude..'' Dean said while looking Derek up and down.

Derek looked down to see a huge bulge in his pants. He hadn't even noticed the erection, he was too amazed about what he was looking at.

''Yeah, like I'M the one to judge!'' Derek said.

Sam turned around and saw Derek. ''WHOA, when did he get in?'' Sam asked before covering himself up with the shower curtain.

''You didn't notice?'' Dean asked.

''I had my head under the shower head!'' Sam said.

''What is going on here? Because I really need to know.. Right now!'' Derek said.

''Well.. We're not rich so we have to save money where we can!'' Sam said.

''What does that have to do with anything?'' Derek asked.

''That is why we shower at the same time! Uhh, you know, to save hot water?'' Sam said.

Dean just nodded his head in agreement. ''Yeah, you know..'' Dean said.

Derek just looked really confused and nodded his head slowly.

''Well, looks nice though!'' Derek said and winked at them.

''Get out you perv!'' Dean demanded.

Derek put his hands up in front of his chest and backed off and out.

Dean shook his head and continued to wash Sam.

Derek popped his head back in. ''Oh, I totally forgot, I'm having a party on Friday, it's my sisters birthday!'' he said.

''GET OUT!'' Sam and Dean shouted.

Later that day they had still not discussed the fact that Sam thought he was going to die in two days. So Dean thought he was going to ask him about it, just to satisfy Sam.

''So, thursday.. what kind of flowers do you want at your funeral?'' Dean asked mockingly.

Sam looked at him with disgust. ''What, what..'' was all Sam could utter at this point.

''Oh come on Sammy, I'm joking! I like carnations..'' he said and laughed.

''You're such a jerk.'' Sam said.

''And you're my bitch!'' Dean said.

Sam threw the orange he was eating at Dean.

''Thanks'' Dean said.

Sam shook his head and walked in to the kitchen. Dean followed and asked him for real this time what this 'dying' was all about.

''Well, I saw myself being brutally beaten by this woman'' he said.

''Where?'' Dean asked. ''And what did she look like?''

''Well, promise you won't laugh.'' he demanded. ''We were at a clothing store and I was holding this scarf.. And all of the sudden this woman comes up to me and tries to take it from me, but I won't let it go! And then she starts beating me with her purse! and when I fall to the ground, she starts kicking me with some insanely high heels! I mean, they were extreme! And, and they were studded! you know the kind, long studs in the front! It was creepy as hell!'' Sam said.

''Why were you buying a scarf in a ladies clothing store?'' it doesn't make any sense!'' Dean said before he started laughing.

''Be serious!'' Sam said.

''What did she look like? Do we know her?'' Dean asked.

''No, we don't know her! Well, at least I don't.. She had long blonde hair, pink lips, a pink short dress and those extreme shoes. And the other murder weapon was a brown bag with some kind of logo on it.. I think it was LV or something.. I don't know, but it was scary as hell! I'd rather be killed by a demon than a fashion crazed maniac!'' Sam said.

''I hear you!'' Dean said.


	7. Chapter 7

**PS: I just need to apologize for this chapter. It is a bit lack luster.. I hope you enjoy reading it more than I enjoyed writing it!**

''Dean..'' Sam whispered.

''That's me!''

''Today is Thursday..''

''Yeah, let's stay in or something..'' Dean said and put his arm around Sam.

''I wanna go out to eat Dean! There's nothing here besides these damn Oranges…''

''Aren't you afraid of being killed by that psycho woman with the killer shoes?''

''She was at a clothing store, and as far as I'm concerned, they don't serve up shoes and scarfs at restaurants!''

''Restaurant? All we can afford at this point is Mc Donalds or Subway or some shit like that… It's the end of the month and we've spent all our money on bills and food! … Oh god, I feel so normal..'' Dean said and cringed.

''Normal is good! ..I could go for a Subway or something.. I don't care, I just don't want to see another Orange for as long as I live!''

''Fine! Let's get dressed!'' Dean said and jumped out of bed.

Dean and Sam went down to the parking house, where they met Derek.

''Guys! Hey! Where are you going?'' Derek asked.

''Out'' Dean said and closed the door to the car.

''I don't think your brother likes me very much..'' Derek said.

''I wouldn't worry about it. He's just hungry. We're going out to get something to eat, all we have is .. Oranges!'' Sam said and made a grimace.

''Oh.. Remember, party tomorrow!'' Derek said before he walked away.

Dean parked the car outside a shopping mall.

''What are we doing here? Are you trying to get me killed or something?'' Sam asked.

''Take it easy Sammy! I heard they have good sandwiches here!'' Dean said.

Sam looked at Dean and rolled his eyes before he got out of the car. He had walked halfway across the road before he suddenly turned around and started walking really fast the other way.

''Sam, what are you doing?'' Dean demanded.

''It's her! She's in that forever some-numbers store! I saw her!'' Sam said, hysterical. ''I'd recognize her anywhere!''

''Sam, take it easy! I'll deal with her if she tries anything!'' Dean said and dragged Sam by his jacket in to the mall.

Sam watched out for her where ever he went. He didn't enjoy his sandwich as much as Dean did, he was on constant watch for that demonic fashion addict!

''So, we should like buy something for Derek's sister? Since it's her birthday or whatever? Right?'' Dean said before he took another bite of his food.

''I guess.. What do you think she wants?''

''I don't know, I've never met her..'' Dean said. ''How about we go in to that Forever 21 store?'' Dean said and chuckled.

Sam just looked at him, giving him the evil eye.

''I'll go in, you can wait in the car or whatever!'' Dean said.

''Yeah, ok..''

''Hah, no, I can't do that..'' Dean said.

''Why not?'' Sam asked.

''It's a women's clothing store.''

''Fine, I'll go in. But if she starts anything, you'll stop her, right? I don't wanna hit a woman!'' Sam said.

Dean just nodded.

Sam walked in to the store, looking for that woman but she was no where to be found. ''Thank god.''

Sam found a cheap sale bin with lots of scarf and earrings and whatnot.

He grabbed a pink and brown scarf and headed for the cashier when suddenly, she appeared.

''Hello, can I have that, please? I couldn't find it earlier.. And I really want it!'' she said, making her best effort to sound like Paris Hilton, or maybe she just sounded like that.. Sam didn't really know, or care. He just wanted that scarf. It was perfect for Derek's sister, who he had never met.

''I'm sorry, I found it first.'' Sam said politely.

''Hey, I'm trying to be nice here, but don't leave me a choice here!'' she said and snatched the scarf from his hands.

Dean saw what was going on but decided to stay out of it until he was actually needed.

''That is MY scarf, lady!'' Sam said, still trying to be polite.

''Not anymore it isn't.'' she said and laughed.

''Oh well, I guess it's just not my day today'' Sam said before he yelled ''Oh my god, look, theres a sale at Chanel!''

The woman turned around and yelled ''WHERE?''

Sam snatched back the scarf and ran towards the cashiers. All of the sudden Sam blacked out. He felt a pain in his stomach and head. When he opened his eyes he was on the ground. He saw Dean wrestling with the woman to get the scarf.

''Dean, get it!'' Sam yelled.

''A little help wouldn't hurt!'' Dean yelled back.

''MY SCARF'' she yelled.

The cashier lady calmly walked over, picked up a metal clutch purse and smacked the woman over the head with it. She blacked out.

''I'm sorry about this. She has done this hundreds of times now, and I won't stand for it anymore!

''Thank you!'' Sam said.

''Of course'' she said and nodded. ''5$ for the scarf!''

Sam nodded and gave her the money.

When Dean and Sam had gotten in the car they saw the crazy woman running towards the car they were in. Dean hit the gas as hard as he could and they spun away.

''That'll teach her..'' Sam said and kissed Dean's cheek..


	8. Chapter 8

Sam and Dean had later found out that the crazy scarf woman was in fact a trickster! _The_ trickster. He got away, yet again.

They didn't care.. they had other things on their minds and Dean had promised Sam that they would only hunt when it was absolutely necessary!

''Let's face the fact. We will never get that trickster ever so what's the point of chasing it down? Ho many does it kill a year? 2 people?'' had been Sam's argument and Dean went along with it, not wanting to fire up Sam like he usually did.

the sun was coming up outside and the alarms at the nightstands went off.

''Please.. Five more minutes.. Please….'' Dean muffled in his pillow.

Sam sat up immediately.

''Dean, it's 11 AM! We have to get up!'' Sam said and shoved Dean out of the bed.

''What's wrong with you?'' Dean yelled.

''Sorry..'' Sam said and walked out of the room. Sam went in to the kitchen and got himself some cereal and sat down in front of the TV to watch the morning news.

Dean made himself a sandwich.

Sam turned around to Dean and told him to get dressed.

''Why?'' Dean asked.

''Because Derek has the key to our apartment and you never know when he might barge in!'' Sam said.

''Why the hell does he have our key? This is news to me, Sam!'' Dean demanded.

''We have his too, it's just some friend thing I think.. I don't know.. he said it was normal..'' Sam answered.

''Well, if you ask me, he's been watching 'Friends' too much. I don't think people actually give out their keys to friends!'' Dean said. ''It's not normal..''

Dean sat down beside Sam.

''Come here Ava'' Dean said and held out a piece of roast beef. Ava came running and snatched that roast beef right out of his hand. She jumped up besides Dean and basically asked for more with her eyes.

''Look at her'' Dean said and poked Sam.

Sam looked over and told Ava to get down and stop begging.

''Joy kill'' Dean said and petted Ava and gave her another piece of roast beef.

Later that day Derek came barging in as usual. He walked in to their living room but no one was there. He walked in to their bed room and saw Dean sitting in the bed with his hands behind his head, eyes closed, biting his lip. He saw someone under the covers moving.

''What is going on here?'' Derek said.

Sam got up from under the covers and yelled ''FOUND IT!'' before he opened the nightstand drawer and pretended to put something in it.

''WHY do you always barge in like this?'' Dean yelled!

''I just dropped my contact!'' Sam said with a shaky voice.

''Under the covers?'' Derek asked and gave him a dirty look.

Sam rubbed his face and looked away.

''Just get out!'' Dean yelled.

Derek rolled his eyes and turned around to leave.

''We are so busted, Dean!'' Sam said in a shaky voice.

Derek came back in and said ''Listen.. I've been there.. I won't judge!''

Sam and Dean just looked at him.

''Granted, my brother was sleeping when it happened..'' Derek said and shrugged.

Sam was shocked. ''That is illegal!'' Sam said.

''You've been asleep sometimes too…'' Dean said.

''WHAT!'' Sam yelled. ''That is RAPE!'' he said and punched Dean in his face.

Dean rubbed his face and adjusted his jaw. ''So, you won't tell anyone.'' Dean said while looking at Derek.

''Of course not! Who am I to judge..'' he said.

''I'll say..'' Sam said and shook his head.

That was Dean's cue. He punched Sam back.

''What was that for?'' Sam asked.

''You are so violent!'' Derek said and shook his head.

''He hit me first!'' Dean said.

''Because you raped me!'' Sam said.

''Oh, get over it..'' Dean said.

''Ok, so the reason why I came down here.. I wanted to walk Ava because I'm bored!'' Derek said.

''Sure, she's in the kitchen!'' Dean said.

Derek went out with Ava.

Sam got out of bed and went in to the shower. Dean followed.

''We're moving!'' Sam said.

''Why? What's wrong?''

''Derek is wrong. What he told us is just disgusting. I know I'm not one to judge, but what he has done is illegal.''

''And you want to move because of that?'' Dean asked with a puzzled look on his face.

''Well, you never know if he will do that to us! Or if he already has!''

''How is he supposed to get in here int he middle of the night? Dean asked. ''Oh, right, you gave him a freaking KEY!''

Sam looked at Dean. Sam had put on the kicked puppy face that Dean hated so much.

''I didn't know he was a lunatic!'' Sam said. ''If I had known, I wouldn't have given him our key'' he said and got undressed and jumped in the shower.

''How long have we known him? Six months? That's not long enough to give anyone a key. Not even a boyfriend or a girlfriend!'' Dean said.

''You know what? I don't wanna fight about this anymore, this is a waste of time. We are moving.'' Sam demanded. ''Get in here.'' he said and ripped Dean's shirt off.

''I like it when you take control like this'' Dean said and winked.

Sam rolled his eyes and squirted soap on Dean.

''MY EYES!'' Dean shouted. Sam started to laugh. He tried to control himself but he couldn't.

''Haha, sorry!'' he laughed.

Dean took the shower head from Sam and tried to rinse his eyes.

Sam took the shower head back and kissed Dean.

Dean and Sam had made it a 'routine' to make passionate love after a fight. This way they wouldn't separate with anger in their system, but with love in their hearts..


	9. Chapter 9

It was early morning and Dean had gotten up hours ago, approximately at 3 AM. He only had had 2 hours of sleep because his mind kept telling him how wrong everything was. He always had doubt but now it had gotten out of hand, he was determined that what he and his brother was doing was wrong, it was like a little voice in his head telling him how freaking disgusting he was taking advantage of his own little brother in ways neither god or anyone else ever intended.

**_Dean and Derek._**

"I can trust you right?" Dean asked.

"Of course man." Derek responded.

"I'm in deep shit.. I'm starting to feel like shit about what me and Sam are doing.. I mean I love him to death and beyond, but this is just wrong.. I feel I'm in way too deep, I can't get out of this relationship of ours."

"What exactly is it you are doing?"

"We're not only brothers, we are kinda boyfriends. It hurts my teeth to say that. Makes me cringe.. I love him so much that I even agreed to marry him at some point and that thought alone just makes me want to slit my damn throat.."

"So.. You guys are married?"

"God no, it never happened, it's illegal, thank god.."

"You say you love him .."

"Yes, yes I do! But I don't think it's that kind of love.. Well, I mean, It's that kind of love a little, but mostly it's just brotherly love, you know, the whole 'I'll do whatever to keep you safe' kind of love." Dean had to stop for a second.. He felt his eyes tearing up.

"It's ok man, let it all out.." Derek assured.

"I… I just don't know man, I feel like crap about this whole situation, I love him so so much! I love it when he smiles, it makes me so god damn happy, you know? Whenever he laughs, I laugh with him just because I'm happy he's happy.."

Derek took Dean's hand in his own.

"I know what you're going through Dean.. Well, not really.."

Dean looked confused. "What do you mean?" Dean said and wiped a tear.

"Remember when I said I used to suck my brother off in his sleep?"

"Yeah.." Dean shuddered.

"Well, it wasn't the whole story ..In fact it wasn't the story at all, I lied. It wasn't my brother and he wasn't asleep."

Dean looked at Derek for a hot second before his eyes shot open. "You don't mean-"

"Yes!" Derek responded before Dean even got to finish.. "Me and my dad got into a full-blown relationship when I was only 18, it was the best two years of my life to be honest.."

Dean was shocked but knew he had no right to judge. "So how do you know what I'm going through?" Dean asked.

"Well, I don't really know how you feel first hand, but I know how Sam would feel if you ever left him, it didn't end very well for me."

"What happened?"

"Suicide."

Derek disappeared right in front of Deans eyes and reappeared at the other side of the room.

"Damn!" Dean said and stood up. "I knew there was something real fishy about you man!"

Derek walked over to the sofa where Dean were sitting. "So please, if you do decide to leave Sam, stay by his side all the time so he won't feel like he has lost you completely."

"I can't. I can't leave him.. I love him too much, god damn." Dean said before he smashed his fist onto the table and broke the whole damn thing. Damn glass tables, can't be trusted..

**_Sam and Derek._**

"So I had a little chat with Dean earlier today.."

"What did you talk about? Anything of importance?"

"I don't know.. Nah, he's just having second thoughts." Derek saw Sam's face changing from serious to terrified in a split second. "About the drapes in the living room!" Derek said, trying so desperately to save himself.

"Yeah.." Sam said and put down his soda. He walked in to their room and sat down on the bed. He just stared out the window.. Thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. His mind was overloaded.

Derek came in and sat down beside him.

"I know what you meant. About him having second thoughts, I've been scared for a long time now, I knew he'd change his mind eventually. I just didn't think that it'd be right now, I thought we were happy.." Sam said and got out the tissues.

"Are you gonna cry now?" Derek asked.

Sam turned to look at Derek. He gave him the stank eye. The teary stank eye.

"You're mean, you know that?" Sam said and got up.

"I didn't mean it like that, man!" Derek said and dragged him back down on the bed. Sam tripped and fell on top of Derek.

"This is awkward" Derek said.

"It is.." Sam responded and wiggled off of Derek.

"So you were saying, you are happy with Dean?"

"I love him." Sam said as he mindlessly stared out the window, at the wet, grey skies floating by..

"I can tell." Derek said and got up from the bed. Derek put his hand on Sam's shoulder before he left the apartment.

Sam sat there, looking out the window for a good thirty minutes until Dean got home.

Dean walked in to the living room, but Sam wasn't there. Not the kitchen, not the bathroom. He went in to the bedroom to find Sam still sitting at the end of the bed looking out the window.

Dean sat down next to Sam.

"How are you feeling bro?" Dean asked and put his hand on Sam's thigh.

"I had a little talk with Derek." Sam said and removed Dean's hand.

"Oh.." Dean said. He felt a bit shaky. "I -I don't know what he told you-"

"Save it Dean, save it for a day I might give a shit."

Dean felt he was losing Sam, this was different, this wasn't like all the other times, he felt like this was outside the frames, much bigger than usual.

Dean felt an unbearable heat rushing through his body. He couldn't breathe, not one single thought went through his mind at that moment. His eyes exploded with tears and he fell over on the bed, not being able to breathe and water running down his face, giving the feeling of suffocation and drowning all at once he still managed to say one single word. "SAM!"

Sam turned around as he heard the weird noise come out of his brother. He rushed over and sat Dean up against his body, holding around him.

"Sam I can't lose you I can't I just can't please don't leave me" he said and caught his breath. "Please.." he said. He was exhausted, this sudden breakdown really took it out of him.

Sam looked down on Dean and knew that he couldn't live without him and knew that Dean couldn't live without him either. He kissed Dean on the head and said that he'd never leave him. Dean looked up and kissed Sam.

"I love you more than you can ever imagine"


End file.
